Finding New Purpose in a Changing World
Many men are feeling it nowadays. It’s that quiet ache that we still keep to ourselves. You might be a man in his late thirties or forties, doing quite well on the outside with a good job, a nice house, and perhaps a family. You’ve checked all the boxes you believed you were supposed to in your life, but there’s still this nagging feeling, an empty space that no amount of success or achievement seems to fill. It’s not being bored or having a bad day. It’s a deeper, more unsettling feeling: a growing lack of clear purpose.
Take some comfort that you’re not unique in having these feelings. In our modern world, many men have lost their sense of direction, drifting around in a sea of choices, distractions and mixed signals. They look at their future and see only a fog of uncertainty, with no way through.
I know this firsthand because I went through this as I hit midlife. After years of success and incredible experiences, I suddenly felt lost and tired despite having all the tools I perceived would be enough to overcome the problem. Quite simply, I felt like my tank was empty and I just needed to refill it. However, I wasn’t sure what to fill it with or why I should even bother trying. After three years of internal work (self-help), I changed my life and decided to help other men who are struggling in the shifting world. Huge changes have been occurring in the world recently, and they are likely to worsen before getting better. Most men have this feeling of being pushed to one side, which is causing a perfect storm as we struggle to know where to put our energy and focus.
The old paths aren’t there any more.
For centuries, men have built civilisations and helped frame cultures, and so have evolved simple, clear-cut reasons for living. We were the providers, the protectors, leaders in the home and village, craftsmen, farmers, sewage workers, bridge builders, and soldiers. Respect was earned by contributing to your family and the world around you. It was your purpose, and you were okay with that.
All these roles, and many others, as simple as some of them may have seemed, gave you a straightforward, clear plan for your life, a roadmap that you could look at when you got a little lost or unhappy. You were told to shut up and play your part in building the world by creating a little world around you with a family and community. Any and all troubles were challenges you had to solve or “walk off” because you knew what you were working for – a good job and providing for a loving family.
Finding a new roadmap and blueprint
Firstly, you need to be honest with yourself and face the issues head-on. Start by admitting that you have lost purpose and focus on what you want for your life. I know in a world that expects you to have all the answers, that this may seem like weakness or failure, but it is not. It is the ultimate form of bravery to admit you’re struggling and seek help to begin your journey in finding your new purpose.
You cannot fix what you won’t admit is broken. Take some time for yourself and think about that statement. Don’t try to solve it right away. Ask yourself: What really drains my energy on a daily basis? What makes time fly by? When do I feel most alive, most into something, most like me? These quiet moments are crucial for regaining your bearings. No one knows you better than yourself. You’re just in a manic world that keeps telling you to be someone else.
Species of the planet that experience rapid changes to their environment and struggle to adapt usually don’t survive. We need men to find their new purpose based on changed values and principles, and pretty damn quickly. And to do this, you have to analyse yourself a little more than you are used to. You need to accept that you are not perfect and will feel stress or pressures that you won’t understand. Find your authentic self, and build a new roadmap.
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